Dixie van de Flier Davis,
Founder & President Emerita
I’m Smiling
If there are children and adolescents involved, Boondocks is a good place to play. With fun centers in multiple states, it has become a favorite of The Adoption Exchange.
There is something at Boondocks for everyone. And when you’re my age, it feels like all of those things are assaulting your senses at the same time. But no matter what the age, it’s a place to meet, and to play. Before you know it you find yourself having a good time. Even a kid like Edgar, who pretty much gave up on ever being adopted.
On April 3 Boondocks in Colorado will host another adoption networking party for children, youth, caseworkers, and prospective parents. It won’t just be fun. It will be life changing.
Early in the morning teenage employees of Boondocks will get up early and before they go to school they will come to the TV station to answer phones for A Day For Wednesday’s Child. Most are scarcely older than the children they volunteer their time to help.
Then…the party!! Pizza, games, prizes, and people who are dedicated to keeping the children safe while they meet families who just might become their own.
Last year five of the children who attended the party were subsequently adopted. I can tolerate a lot of noise and distraction for results like that!
I just found out that Edgar got adopted. With a family who found him at Boondocks. So I’m smiling.
Join us on April 3. It’s a big day in lots of ways.
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Learn more about Dixie.
Dixie van de Flier Davis,
Founder & President Emerita
Waiting
No one likes to do it.
We’re impatient in line at the super market. We don’t want to wait for delivery of new item. On a diet – chances are we quit before we see results.
It is just hard to wait.
The wheels of permanence grind too slowly in the lives of the children who wait in foster care. Another birthday passes. Other children come in and out of the foster home as if their journeys have somehow taken on a faster pace, while teenagers wait and watch, and eventually are tempted to turn their eyes away.
As of last week the wait is finally over for Mandi. She’d been featured on television three times. Clearly she was growing up before our eyes. As the months dragged on, she watched her siblings be adopted. And now – at last – she has joined two of them in her own family.
As one adolescent said, “It feels like sitting down after standing up for a long, long time.”
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Learn more about Dixie.
Dixie van de Flier Davis,
Founder & President Emerita
What’s on Their Minds?
Sometimes when we watch Wednesday’s Child we wonder what the children are thinking about. Staff at The Adoption Exchange try to schedule an outing that will be fun. And the young people usually have a good time.
They know the purpose of the interview. And during the taping adolescents often let us all know what is on their minds. Here is a sampling of comments from some teenagers in Utah.
Brad (age 14): “I want parent would we treat me right – treat me like their son.”
Allen (age 12): “The would have to be caring and take it easy on me for a few days…like if you don’t eat all of your dinner, they’d still give you dessert.”
Terry (age 13): When you’re in a permanent home you don’t have to worry about moving.”
William (age 16): I was born into a family that wasn’t that pleasant. The other kids had families that would come to their football games. I didn’t have anyone to come to my football games.”
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Learn more about Dixie.
Dixie van de Flier Davis,
Founder & President Emerita
A Teenager’s Question
We ask teenagers a lot of questions. What are you planning to do with your life? Where will you live? What kind of work will you do in the future?
Teresa responded to those queries with a question in return. “What is a future without a mom and dad?”
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Learn more about Dixie.
Dixie van de Flier Davis,
Founder & President Emerita
A Mother’s Joy
We have you home now!
Your shoes light up as you walk,
Just as my heart does.
Ann Fleming, Des Moines, IA
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Learn more about Dixie.
Dixie van de Flier Davis,
Founder & President Emerita
Birth Parents and Adoptive Parents
James and Maria have 13 children, though James can’t remember off hand how many are adopted. They’re just a family, even though their family may seem different than some.
Noel’s mother died when she was fifteen. That loss combined with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) and other circumstances. Noel’s emotional state and her behavior left no place other than a residential treatment center for her to go. Except for one thing — James worked at that center.
Before long Noel joined James and Maria’s family. In the Native American tradition, the whole family joined together for a year of mourning Noel’s birth mother. At the twelve month mark, they all participated in a customary ritual to let go, and Noel was formally adopted into the family.
James and Maria are proud grandparents of children they would never have had in their lives if they hadn’t let themselves love Noel and her first mother, and a woman they’d never met.
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Learn more about Dixie.
Dixie van de Flier Davis,
Founder & President Emerita
Jackie
Love is transformative for everyone involved. Jackie describes how she is impacted by her adopted children with these profound words:
“Hope may not see, but she can hear the birds sing and her eyes flutter when the wind blows. Matthew may not be able to walk, but his smile greets me every morning. Steven may not be able to speak, but I can hear him say he loves me hundreds of times a day.”
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Learn more about Dixie.
Dixie van de Flier Davis, Executive Director
Every Day is Grandparents’ Day
Among the gifts adoptive parents give their children are grandparents. Relationships across the generation gap are more than precious. They shape the future in big ways.
Seeing the daily challenges from a long view, they help their grandchildren learn to find their way. Lots of the lessons are caught, not taught, as Dromgoole artfully describes in his poem that follows.
The Bridge Builder
An old man, going a lone highway,
Came, at the evening, cold and gray,
To a chasm, vast, and deep, and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The sullen stream had no fear for him;
But he turned, when safe on the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.
“Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim, near,
“You are wasting strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again will pass this way;
You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide-
Why build you this bridge at the evening tide?”
The builder lifted his old gray head:
“Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said,
“There followeth after me today,
A youth, whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm, that has been naught to me,
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building this bridge for him.”
By Will Allen Dromgoole
Thanks to all of the grandparents. You gave the children parents, and you build the bridges they will cross.
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Learn more about Dixie.
Dixie van de Flier Davis, Executive Director
Is There A Teenager In Your Future?
The holidays are over. Decorations are packed away to make room for the new year.
Most of us got more than we needed. We can look at photographs and smile over the memories of the time we spent with family members.
But not Laura, who burst into tears and said, “I think I deserve to know what it is like to be loved.”
Hundreds of teenagers are waiting. I hope 2013 will be the year for Amanda, Breeanna and Glen. You can find their pictures along with 273 others who are over 13 years old and deserve to know what it’s like to be loved. Click here to browse our Children’s Gallery, fully searchable by age and other criteria.
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Learn more about Dixie.
Dixie van de Flier Davis, Executive Director
Frankie Is Loved
The energy level climbs when Frankie arrives on the scene. His grandparents are obviously thrilled to see him and can’t wait to show him off to extended family members.
Frankie is a little shy, but he warms up to strangers. He knows he is in a safe environment.
When the attention becomes a little too intense, he finds shelter on his mother’s lap. As his mom tenderly holds him, she whispers in his ears. And he melts into her embrace.
I wish every little boy and girl were safe and loved, like Frankie.
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Learn more about Dixie.