This morning the website brought me an email from a long ago adoptive mom. Her daughter (now grown) is about to become full time guardian of an at-risk teenager.

A couple of weeks ago I heard from the wife of a former Wednesday’s Child. This couple is planning to adopt a child from foster care.

I’m not saying that either of these young adults had easy childhoods. Quite the opposite. They and their adoptive families met the challenges. And now they’ve grown into adulthood with the desire to pass love along to someone else that needs to be safe and needs a place to belong.

Several years ago a couple of caseworkers and their supervisors, along with some generous volunteers and supporters put love in motion for one boy and one girl. Now those efforts are rippling out to two more youth in the next generation.

When it comes to definitions, I’ll just say that Webster didn’t know everything. Wikipedia doesn’t cut it, either.

Adoption is a social, legal, emotional, spiritual, anthropological phenomenon that profoundly changes individuals, family members, neighbors, communities and cultures.

My definition of adoption is something along these lines:

• society’s expression of its faith the future
• a family’s commitment to love
• a leap into the unknown
• a place to grow and become your own self
• a bridge connecting the past to the present and beyond


How do you define it?

* Every one of us has been a child and remembers that.
* All it takes is a few minutes and a generous spirit to change a life.
* Be impatient. The children are growing up while we’re talking about it.
* Do it because it is the right thing to do.
* Love is its own reward.

Children who wait in foster care for adoptive families are all our children. And
every year hundreds of people share their skills and talents to give them a future.

July marks the beginning of our new fiscal year. At The Adoption Exchange it’s one more time for us to stop and count our blessings.

And we count you!

Thank you for giving 6,220 vulnerable children a chance to be safe and loved….always.


Learn more about our volunteer opportunities.

Because of her experiences as an adoption professional and an adoptive parent, Paula recently commented, “I know that families cannot do what they need to do without a community of support. We are all in this together! Nothing is more life-changing or more meaningful!”

At the Rhode Island Adoption Exchange, Darlene Allen says, “We believe that everyone has something to give to a child. For some, providing [hope] may be in the form of a guitar lesson, or an art class. For others it may mean tutoring, visiting, or hosting an adoption event. For some, it means opening your heart and home to a child, and for still others it will mean supporting the work necessary to find that family for one child.”

The children in foster care don’t belong to the government. They are ours. Yours and mine.

Some say that what you see is what you get. Adoptive mom, Vicki Krausz* said it better than that in a poem she allowed us to print in our 25th Anniversary book.

*Vicki and her husband, Steve, founded and run the Jewish Children’s Adoption Network (JCAN).

I don’t know much about “monster trucks.” But Cassidy does. And so does Bill.

Today’s guest blogger is Bill Williams, NM Program Director. This is what he said:

One of the biggest events of The Adoption Exchange in New Mexico is our annual Night at the Races to say “thank you, you are important to us” to any foster or adoptive child and their family in the state. They are treated to a night at the races, with monster truck rides, jumpers, and clowns painting faces. Click here for full details.

This year we are hoping to have over 200 individuals taking a turn in the monster truck. And of course they’ll be cheering for their favorite race car.

Night at the Races scheduled for July 17, 2010 at Sandia Motor Speedway

She quickly replied, “No, I had so much fun last year I wanted to have the pictures to cut out for my life book. I didn’t have a camera and you have pictures of the monster truck.”

This reminds me to be taking more pictures of the activities this year, and I’ll see to it that Cassidy will end up with copies.

It also reminds me that Cassidy deserves family photos and videos with the hugs and laughs that that accompany them, not explaining her life book to another foster home.

Click here to get a glimpse of Cassidy.

We live in a world of instant messaging, fast food, and results by the end of the business day.

So it is no surprise that successful people who like to be in charge of their own lives sometimes look for short-cuts when they adopt.

If you’re considering adopting, I hope you won’t be tempted to look for the easiest process.

Sure, it’s possible to find loopholes and ways to avoid standard procedures. But I hope you won’t skip steps without thinking long and hard about the implications, because research has documented some things that lead to successful adoptions.

Two things that successful adoptions of older children have in common are: pre-adoption preparation, and post-adoption support services.

I don’t know what went wrong for the 8 year old boy who was recently put on a plane in Tennessee and returned to Russia. But I know that successful adoptive parents reach into their own local communities to participate in training and support activities before, during and after adoption.

Here are some resources that might be useful for you or someone you know.

Every day since The Adoption Exchange opened its doors there have been lessons to learn. I think I must have more to learn than others, and that’s why I still enroll in the class every day, year after year.

The children teach us about grief, survival and coping. I’ve come to see that if they can let go of unspeakable hurts and shattering insults to their lives, surely we can learn to let go of petty annoyances and disappointments in our own.

Some staff and volunteers share their insights in Adoption: Stories of Lives Transformed, in the chapter called “Getting More Than We Give.”

Kristi, who works as an adoption recruiter in one of our Wendy’s Wonderful Kids programs had this to say about how adoption has changed her:

Because of adoption, I have a completely new definition of family.

The question adoptive parents were asked was: When did you feel like your adopted child belonged to you? Their answers were:

“The moment she came through the door.” – Marco

“As soon as we met him.” – Jerry

“When I saw her photograph.” – Tania

Scientists are still learning a lot about bonding. We know that strong ties between parents and their children provide the foundation for subsequent intimate relationships. These bonds create a sense of security and build positive self-esteem.

Click here for a list of suggested books to read on the subject of bonding, claiming and attachment with children adopted from foster care.

You can also go to our on-line lending library and find books that will support you through your journey.

It doesn’t always happen in an instant. Another mom said, “One day, after months of caring for him and nursing him through an illness, I just realized that I would throw myself in front of a speeding bus for him. There is nothing I’d refuse to do for him. He is my son.”